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You are about to begin reading my new online journal "Guest of Beth." Relax. Concentrate. Dispel every other thought. Forget about the Journals Chronicling Ongoing Train Wrecks, Journals Containing Humorous Anecdotes You Wouldn't Be Embarrassed To Read At Work, Journals Where The Good Stuff Is Hidden In The Source Code, Journals Full Of Sweetness And Light That Might Be Interesting To Someone Else Who Is Less Cynical Than You Are, Journals Written As If By A Pet, Journals By People Living Fascinating Lives Abroad So Why Are You Stuck In Sacramento, Journals That Make You Wish There Was No Such Thing As The Friday Five, Journals Featuring Sexual Entries Well Beyond What You Could Possibly Compete With, Fake Journals That Shock People When They Are Ultimately Exposed, Fake Journals That Fool No One, Journals About All The People The Journaler Hates, Journals That Were Once Entertaining But Of Late Are Just Full Of Infants, Journals Where You Hope That All The Quoted Lyrics Are Part Of A Phase And It Will Soon Return To Its Regular Program, Journals Where Every Entry Is Eventually About A Past Relationship, and the Journals That Are About Something So Private That You As A Reader Cannot Determine What That May Be.
Let's not even talk about the Journals That Are So Beautifully Expressed And Emotionally True That You May As Well Have Been Born With Hooves If You Think You Can Write In Their League.
Other Ian sites you may enjoy:
Macaroni & Cheese boxes and FAQ
Squirrel Bait fan page and FAQ
Book Club
Movie List
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2003-03-10 - 12:46 a.m.
The book, and the pie!
Everything really is all happening in Chat these days. That's where Beth came up with the idea for a Books and Pie Club, and that's where I've been procrastinating instead of composing the definitive Books and Pie Club inaugural meeting entry.
For our first book, Beth brought The Tawny Scrawny Lion. She also brought Jeremy. Joining us from the Bay Area were Jen and
Mo.
At first we thought it was a straightforward story about bulimia-—the lion eats an animal a day, yet remains tawny, scrawny—but after experiencing a fever dream on a religious holiday, it is revealed that the lion's bulimia was caused by his repressed homosexuality. He is cured, he marries a bear (in a civil ceremony), and he lets his feminine side out at last. Extremely touching.  Jen Fu and (Mo) Pie, on the Hellmouth
I also gave Mo and Jen a tour of a 10-block by 18-block patch of Sacramento, and they are now convinced that was the entire town.
 apparently I was insane that night
 Beth's look says it all
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